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Siamak

You KNOW you are IRANIAN when...

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1- You are a car salesman and at the same time, a singer.

 

2- You talk behind your wife's back, with your mother.

 

3- You dress up to go to grocery store.

 

4- You go to concert, but you never see the singer . All night, you stay in the hallways with your drink, and check out girls.

 

5- You never wear your wedding ring.

 

6- You smoke 5 packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke.

 

7- You notice the inflation in Iran, by how much the price of opium has increased since your last trip.

 

8- You think you look sexy in black.

 

9- You are about 35 and have no hair on your head.

 

10- You watch Iranian program on TV, but always nag for bad programming.

 

11- You are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes.

 

12- You excel in pool, fussball, dart, and all other bar sports, while you are way out of shape for any other sport.

 

13- You tell everyone you are going to Iran because you "miss the smell of Iran, and old relatives, and those people...oh, those Iranian people", but cheap dental work is what you really are after.

 

14- You divorce your wife, but still don't let her date anyone else.

 

15- You used to be a brain surgeon in Iran but now you work in a chelokababy.

 

16- You carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phone and no one ever calls you.

 

17- You claim your uncle was this famous general in the Shah's army, but no one has ever heard of him.

 

18- You don't own a house and have no job, but still can afford a BMW.

 

19- You have to shave more than once a day.

 

20- You think the more cologne you put on, the wilder you drive the girls.

 

21- Your in-laws come to visit and they never leave.

 

22- You are flattered when they guess your nationality as Italian, but jump to set the record straight if they guess you are an Arab.

 

23- You never give to American charities. Or Iranian Charities. Or any other charities.

 

24- Your Mom keep insisting you to translate that Rashti joke to your American boyfriend, and explain the geopolitic dynamics of it.

 

25- An empty bottle of milk suddenly appears in your bathroom when elder relatives come to visit.

 

26- You invite friends over for dinner and buy Pizza, yet cook some extra rice... just in case!.

 

27- Believe no one else can make Kabaab Better than us.

 

28- You cannot wait for the company to leave, so you can gossip behind their back.

 

29- You have to shave your back.

 

30- You have dogs but don't let them come inside the house.

 

31- Beat the hell out of them (dogs) when they come in, then suddenly remember they are " Najess " and go and wash out your hands 7 times with soap and say, "Pedar Sag Aslan Aadam nemeesheh!!!!

 

32- Complain about everybody's accent, but yourself's!

 

33- You wear a luxury ROLEX watch , yet you are always LATE at appointments, meetings and dates.

 

34- Your Mom calls your Dad by his last name ( "Azizi"),his profession ( "Doctor") or rank in military ("Sarhang") .

 

35- What people see as fat on your arm and chest, you view as "muscle".

 

36- You have been living 25 years in CANADA , yet not bought a house, because you still think: "Hanooz maloom nist inja bemoonim ya na"

 

37- The only Farsi words your American friends know, are "pimp" and the ones refering to genitalia.

 

38- You run a business and wish Iranian come to you, but at the same time strongly believe that "Ba Irooni moameleh nemikonam chon hamashon kolah-bardar va sharlatanan va mikhan sare adam kolah bezaran"

 

39- You think you drive even better after a few drinks.

 

40- If you finish this and think "That was right, All Iranian are like this. and repeat to yourself: "Shokre khoda man yeki injori nistam"

 

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hahaha hilarious! Shokre khoda man yeki injori nistam :brows:

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hahaha hilarious! Shokre khoda man yeki injori nistam :brows:

 

to khodet aval iruni hasti :D .

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