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salam

Funniest jokes you've heard?

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Post the funniest joke you know here!

 

 

Mine is:

 

There were 4 guys on a plane. A guy from California, a Mexican, the pope, and an Italian guy. The plane was going down, so they had to lose some weight. So, the pope throws a box of bibles out the window and says "its ok, we have a lot of these where I come from." Then the Italian guy throws some wine out the window and says "its ok, we have lots of these where i come from." Then the Californian throws the mexican out and says "its ok, we have too many of these where i come from."

 

 

another is:

 

One day god came to earth and said, every man gets a car based on how much he masterbates. the more he masterbates, the worse his car is. So a guy drives down the street in a ferrari and says, "i've got a hot wife!" then a guy in a ford goes down the street and says, "it was worth it." then a catholic church guy comes riding down the street on a dented bike :lol:

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Alrighttttttttttt, I have a good one;

 

Do you know, what is the lightest (weightless) object in the world?

 

 

~Penis, cuz you can even lift it with your mind.

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Alrighttttttttttt, I have a good one;

 

Do you know, what is the lightest (weightless) object in the world?

 

 

~Penis, cuz you can even lift it with your mind.

 

 

 

thats just nasty :yuk:

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Alrighttttttttttt, I have a good one;

 

Do you know, what is the lightest (weightless) object in the world?

 

 

~Penis, cuz you can even lift it with your mind.

 

 

 

thats just nasty :yuk:

Dear Salam, I don't know if you are male or female? but if you are a male then you know its true!

When I heard this joke I lmao for an hour :)))

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Alrighttttttttttt, I have a good one;

 

Do you know, what is the lightest (weightless) object in the world?

 

 

~Penis, cuz you can even lift it with your mind.

 

 

 

thats just nasty :yuk:

Dear Salam, I don't know if you are male or female? but if you are a male then you know its true!

When I heard this joke I lmao for an hour :)))

 

 

 

im a guy... lol it is kinda funny :dance_baby_wft:

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i dunno why but these 2 jokes crack me up every time... theyr in farsi sorry

 

1. be ye shomaliye migan 'bodo yeki dare too jangal be zanet tajavoz mikone', shomaliye mige 'to be eyn 2ta derakht migi jangal???' :harhar_wft[1]:

 

2. Torke mimire mire behesht zire paaye madarha leh mishe! (u may need to think about this one...if u want pm me for the history)

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i dunno why but these 2 jokes crack me up every time... theyr in farsi sorry

 

1. be ye shomaliye migan 'bodo yeki dare too jangal be zanet tajavoz mikone', shomaliye mige 'to be eyn 2ta derakht migi jangal???' :harhar_wft[1]:

 

2. Torke mimire mire behesht zire paaye madarha leh mishe! (u may need to think about this one...if u want pm me for the history)

 

I didn't get any of them :u:

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i dunno why but these 2 jokes crack me up every time... theyr in farsi sorry

 

1. be ye shomaliye migan 'bodo yeki dare too jangal be zanet tajavoz mikone', shomaliye mige 'to be eyn 2ta derakht migi jangal???' :harhar_wft[1]:

 

2. Torke mimire mire behesht zire paaye madarha leh mishe! (u may need to think about this one...if u want pm me for the history)

 

I didn't get any of them :u:

 

 

I dont either, but thats because im not fluent in farsi yet

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i dunno why but these 2 jokes crack me up every time... theyr in farsi sorry

 

1. be ye shomaliye migan 'bodo yeki dare too jangal be zanet tajavoz mikone', shomaliye mige 'to be eyn 2ta derakht migi jangal???' :harhar_wft[1]:

 

2. Torke mimire mire behesht zire paaye madarha leh mishe! (u may need to think about this one...if u want pm me for the history)

 

I didn't get any of them :u:

I only get the first, in my family they make a lot of such jokes, because of that i get it :clap2: and i have one too:

 

An American and an Iranian board a plane to LAX.

Iranian sits next to American.

American asks: What kind of "ian" are you?

- What?

- I said What kind of "ian" are you?

- I don't understand your question.

- Stupid! Are you Cambodian, Indian or Iranian?

- Oh! I am Iranian.

2 hours passed without a word.

Iranian asks: What kind of "key" are you?

- What?

- Are you a monkey, donkey, or Yankee?

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They asked a turkish mathematician, “describe fart in a mathematical way for us master!”

-it will be 9/2

-why 9/2 ? what’s the math behind it? How did you get 9/2?

-well, 9 in Turkish is “DOGUZ” so DOGUZ/2…DOs will be cancel out its gonna give you just a GUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

:t

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2. Torke mimire mire behesht zire paaye madarha leh mishe! (u may need to think about this one...if u want pm me for the history)

 

:lol:

 

Kheili bahal bood. hahahah

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بچه از خواب پا ميشه مي‌بينه مامانش نشسته رو شكم باباش و داره تند تند بالا و پايين مي‌پره! ميگه: مامان داري چيكار مي‌كني؟ مامانش هول ميشه و ميگه: هيچي عزيزم، شكم بابات گنده شده بود، دارم بادش رو خالي مي‌كنم. بچه ميگه: مامان جون اين كارا فايده نداره، چون فردا كه بري سر كار دوباره دختر همسايه پاييني مياد خونه‌مون با دهنش تو شكم بابا فوت مي‌كنه!

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يه زن حامله نميتونسته ادرار كنه، ميبرنش سونوگرافي، ميفهمن بچه‌اش پطرس فداكاره

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بچه از خواب پا ميشه مي‌بينه مامانش نشسته رو شكم باباش و داره تند تند بالا و پايين مي‌پره! ميگه: مامان داري چيكار مي‌كني؟ مامانش هول ميشه و ميگه: هيچي عزيزم، شكم بابات گنده شده بود، دارم بادش رو خالي مي‌كنم. بچه ميگه: مامان جون اين كارا فايده نداره، چون فردا كه بري سر كار دوباره دختر همسايه پاييني مياد خونه‌مون با دهنش تو شكم بابا فوت مي‌كنه!

 

!!!! lol

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فيلمهاي قزوين: 1- کون بلبلي (کمدي) 2- کون صورتي (انيميشن) 3- کون پاره (جنگي) 4-تنها كون كافي نيست(عشقي) 5- کوون خور (ترسناک) 6- کون برهنه (سکسي) 7- شهر کونها (مستند) 8- رد کون (پليسي) 9- پسري با کون بي سوراخ (تخيلي) 10- عجب کوني داري پسرم (خانوادگي) 11- به خاطر يه لپ کون (وسترن) 12-خاله كوني (كودكان) 13-كون قرمزي (كارتون) 14-هزار كون نكرده(اجتماعي) 15كونِ سوخته (سياسي) 16-كونهاي آلوده (علمي) 17-كونيها به بهشت نمي روند (مذهبي

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i dunno why but these 2 jokes crack me up every time... theyr in farsi sorry

 

1. be ye shomaliye migan 'bodo yeki dare too jangal be zanet tajavoz mikone', shomaliye mige 'to be eyn 2ta derakht migi jangal???' :harhar_wft[1]:

 

2. Torke mimire mire behesht zire paaye madarha leh mishe! (u may need to think about this one...if u want pm me for the history)

:))):)))lol

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از تركه مي‌پرسن مناسبت اين روزا چيه؟ مي‌گه: شهادت امام خسين و 22 تن از يارانش به دست صدام صهيونيست و همچنين روز 72 بهمن، روز پيروزي انقلاب در صحراي كربلا و فرار يزيد از كربلا به دانمارك و برخورد دو هواپيما به حرمين اما هادي و امام حسن عسگري. ولي در كل انرژي هسته‌اي حق مسلم ماست

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از تركه مي‌پرسن مناسبت اين روزا چيه؟ مي‌گه: شهادت امام خسين و 22 تن از يارانش به دست صدام صهيونيست و همچنين روز 72 بهمن، روز پيروزي انقلاب در صحراي كربلا و فرار يزيد از كربلا به دانمارك و برخورد دو هواپيما به حرمين اما هادي و امام حسن عسگري. ولي در كل انرژي هسته‌اي حق مسلم ماست

 

LMAO!

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These ones are so silly but whatever:

 

اسمت رو رو كوه نوشتم خراب شد اسمت رو رو شمع نوشتم اب شد اسمت رو رو قلبم نوشتم شكست جمع كن خودتو با اين اسمت

 

 

دكترديونه هايك روزديونه هاراامتحان مي كنه يك درروي تخته ميشكه ميگه هركه توانست دربازكنه.همه حمله ميكنند يكي اون وسط ميشينه ازش مي پرسند چراتونشستيه اي ميگه اخ كليد در دست من است .

 

 

خانومه به راننده تاکسی ميگه : آقا ببخشيد کريم خان ميريد؟؟؟؟

راننده هه ميگه : خب معلومه آبجی اگه نميريد که می ترکيد !!!

 

 

 

ميدوني فرق پسرخوب با پري دريايي چيه؟؟؟؟

زيادفكر نكن چون فرقي ندارن ............ !

حالا ميدوني شباهتشئن چيه ؟؟؟؟

از روز اول هر دو تا افسانه بودن..................!!!!!!!

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ا

خانومه به راننده تاکسی ميگه : آقا ببخشيد کريم خان ميريد؟؟؟؟

راننده هه ميگه : خب معلومه آبجی اگه نميريد که می ترکيد !!!

 

bahal bood

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اگر نمازگزار بداند چقدر از رحمت الهی اورا فراگرفته است هرگز سر از سجده بر نمیدارد............بسیج قزوین

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قزوينيه ميره خونه يك ميليونره، ‌دويست ميليون نقد مي‌دزده. بعد زنگ ميزنه خونه يارو ميگه: بچه رو بيارين پولارو ببرين

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مضرات امتحانات : افزايش بار علمي به طور نا خواسته ! كمبود شديد خواب و كاهش زمان لالا از هفت ساعت به هفت دقيقه ! رواج فرهنگ غلط پاچه خاري براي معلمان ! افزايش خشونت عليه حيوانات (خر زني !!!) چپ و چول شدن چشمها بر اثر روش هاي غلط تقلبي ! سردرد حاصل از تمركز شديد براي يافتن راههاي مدرن تقلب! افزايش ادب به طور چشمگير براي گرفتن جزوه از هر كسي

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