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princesse_of_persia

what do i say???

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Hey guys! I just found out that I’m going to iran next week to attend my uncle-in- law’s 1st death anniversary but I seriously don’t want to go. Since this is the first death in my family ( as far as I can remember) I am absolutely clueless on what to do or say to my aunty and cousins.

 

It’s my first time seeing or even speaking to them after their father’s death.

I know for a fact that I’m going to burst into tears seeing my 7 year old cousin but what do I say??? Help!

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Will be very nice from your part if you go aziz :) .

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akhe raftan ke vasifame vali akhe begam chi?? hamintory ke nemishe! mas'alan vaghti mibinameshon begam chi?

 

Azizam,hamun chizi ro begou keh ehsas mikoni... ba'azi vaghta ham ziad lazem nist adam chizi begeh touyeh in jaryanat !. . .

 

Ba yek navazesh,ba chand ta kalameh va ya ba yek negah.. misheh adam ehsasatesho dar in halat begeh..

 

Marg hamisheh sakhteh, makhsusan vaghtikeh azizeh adam az dast bereh..vali choun Khoda mikhad va in khasteyeh Khodast,bayad ehteram gozasht va ejazeh dad keh dar inja ehsasat-e adam basheh keh sohbat koneh..

 

Shoma hamun kari ro bayad bekoni keh fekr mikoni dorost hast ! neshun bedeh cheghadar barat ahamiatt dashte va cheghadar barat mohem hast va behet kheili sakht migzareh beh khatereh in jaryan.

 

Ba Khoda bash va ba Khoda jelo boro va ejazeh bedeh keh ehsasatet tasmim begireh,behesh e'etemad dashteh bash,motmaen bash keh hamun khahad shod keh bayad basheh.

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Hmmmm… my feelings, well I feel extremely stupid that I have a dad and they now don’t, I am undescribably sad and very scared of the future.

 

I can’t exactly ask my mum cauz I’m sure what she feels right now isn’t at all similar to mines. I am really struggling in putting my feeling into words, dark daram ke inha hamaro mishe ba ye negah goft vali man ham mikham ye chizi begam ke bedonan man che ehsasy daram o har kari as dastam bar biad barashoon anjam midam, but what do I say?

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First of all: Don't go!

 

Second of all: Don't go!

 

Third of all: Say some routine words that usually Iranians say in these kind of situations!

 

" Omidvaram ghame akharetoon bashe "

 

" in shotoriye ke dame dare khoneye hame mikhabe "

 

I usually say...

 

Sorry for your lost, It wasn't my fault though!

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well my grandfather passed away when i was in 8th grade (13 years old)....(my mommy's daddy)...and when i went to iran and saw my khale's and daee's and walked into the house he passed away in....we just cried...u dont have to say anything....and GO!!!!...boro!!!!....they want u there....ur being there is comfort to them!!!!...midooni chi migam....when u first see them in the airport....hug them...when u go home...cry with them....when all ur tears are gone...talk about all the good memories of that person....and then cry some more....thats all....boro iran....ur visit wont b just crying..u will have fun too....and see ur family....ull bring bak memories and have those memories forever!!!!...i hope ke harfam komak kard ..at least a little.

:friends:

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whay should i not go?? they are very dear to me! and yes i have already heard of the frases that you mentioned but they are not what you would say to someone so close to you, now would you??

i am in such a pickle right now

 

If they are really dear to you! Think about it this way! The one who died won't see or feel any effects from your desire to share others people's pain!

 

The living ones would have two sad event!

 

1: loosing a loved ones!

2: Cost's of the ceremony which they have to prepare for people who wants to come to see them and share their pain! Which maybe 20 or 50 % of them are genuine and what they do is to basically! Remind the rest of the family that they have lost a loved one and Don't let it go!

 

Unless! You believe in ghost and you are a traditionalist then I would say!

 

Please! Do go! and let your heart talk! Then you'll find the suitable words to use! :)

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no! i don't believe in ghosts! in fact i wasn't even that close to my ancle in law. my only worry is my aunty and cousins (who in actual fact are still alive!!!), they were the reasons that i went to iran. So yes i did end up going, i guess you all were right, i did figure out what to say but never manged to say them.

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