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Hi ppl...

 

I'm confused about something. Even though i know the answer to this question, i guess i just want to hear it from other ppl.

 

I went out with a friend of mine for a few years.. we went out , and at the beginning everything was fine.. i loved him, but as years went by, i fell in love with him very much so... it was a long distance thing. But as things got more serious, there were doubts on both sides, and so so many things... i guess the closer we got, the more protective and selfish we got. Personally i never considered myself selfish.. anywayz... obviously, him being a young guy... i knew he probably was fooling around.. i mean, we were too young andi never admitted it to myself.. and i was young and sheytoon too. I'm not sure whether he did or not, but if i'm being realistic, even though he loves me alot, i also know about physical needs and so on. .. We broke up, and got back together, and finally broke up for good, i miss him .. :( Nobody has been able to replace him... maybe somebody could, if there was any other good guys left on planet earth.. lol... but honestly, i miss him.. I think he's my other half. He knows what i feel just by looking at me, knows what i have to say by the tone of my voice. And I truly understand him. even now we talk.. and i love talking to him.. ... anywayz... i guess what i want to know, is that do you guys think there's any future to this? I mean even if we continued with this damned relationship, i don't know... you see guys, i just mentioned all the negative and not much of the positive. Keep the negative in mind, but also know that i love this guy, and he does love me.. maybe not as much as me... and there's been good times... and ekh..... dunno

 

What do you think? <_<

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Hey Ava

Well, love is always difficult! But maybe if you 2 are apart (meaning you're not together) for a while, and thought about your situation and what you want and so on, then you could talk it through, and see where things can go.

But, if you see him continue being selfish, then leave it, obviously you deserve more.

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Awwwwww Khanoom Khoshgele, it's because guyz have to hunt for girlz...U know they become selfish and they're sure they can do whatever they want but u'll always be there where u've been before!

Honey, it really sounds to me that you two COULD have a future together if u sit and talk. Because u're both grown up now and donbale bachebazi and sheytooni (OMIDVARAM) ke dige nistin! ;)

Well but u should talk to him and tell him what u feel and what u didn't like in ur relationship...but plz hun make sure he still feels same way like u darlin!

BTW where does he live?

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dear Ava,

 

you can never FALL IN LOVE in the TRUE LOVE!!

you just find yourself IN TRUE LOVE!!

with 1000000000 reasons WHY you love her/him!!

that's why one can NEVER fall OUT OF LOVE, from the TRUE LOVE!!

 

but finding TRUE LOVE does not necessarily means that you are able to "live together"!!

a life together requires certain understandings and preconditions!!

BOTH must come to this REVELATION (your feelings right now), at the same time!! and appreciate it equally much!!

 

even if one is a single step behind, it wont work!!

you'll drift apart!!

both of you must take your "emotional" steps simultaneously, then there are not much that CAN stop you, ultimately!!

 

if the "hearts and mind belong to each other", the "geographic" distance will eventually fade away!!

take my word for it!!

 

TRUE LOVE brings FAITHFULLNESS,

no matter if you are a boy or a girl!!

if not, then it's not TRUE LOVE!!

 

so look inside your heart, is it alone, or do you feel "another" heart beating in its pace next to it?!

never mind the geographic distance, appreciate the REAL distance!!! the emotional one!!

only YOU can answer this question, and you will ...just open your heart and mind, and be TRUE to yourself!!

 

romanticize by all means,

but don't let yourself be romanticized!!

 

take it from an OOOOOOLD and begi-nagi also WISE man with a few more experiences in his pocket!!

 

yours,

pourya ;)

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Well Ava, what can I say.

First of all, all or perhaps I shall say the majority of you girls are likewise, cuz you always take your great bfs (if you have had one)for granted and try to act so diplomatic about everything, especially expressing your true feelings and saying how much you love the person, but as soon as you lose the loved one realize how precious and loving that boy friend of yours was like, and kinda unvolunteerily persuade the guy to get back with you, by so many different hints and tricks. but us guys fall in love spontaniously and immaculately at first and in my own case give 100% of ours to you girls(now I don't include every single guys in this category, as we all differ from each other). same scenario happened between me and my ex, and as a result I got burnt down at first, but as time passed by it changed and she cried and begged for my forgiveness and asked for a reconcialiation(eventhough she was a married women... I got fooled again and... )anyway don't wanna get into details again, cuz I have already posted my whole love story ion PMN and if you're interested you can view it in there.

Now back to your discussion and seeking help thing, I believe you better not get back with him, because based on what you said, you have indifferences, argue alot, broke up many times(expect it to happen again, if you're back together), he most probably is sleeping around now and doesn't really care about your relationship, otherwise he should have not left you alone and keep on bogging you, in other words if he thinks he has been deprived from your love he must not stop calling you.

forgive me if I sounded a bit harsh and bold, though I mentioned everything 4 your own sake ;)

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Well thank you for all your replies... Donya joon.. i think u're right, maybe a little distance will do the trick, but i'm not sure...

And Sahari joon.. i don'tknow if i should really be honest with this guy or not..

Keano, here's a difference between us women. First of all, i never acted diplomatic with my ex bf... never did. I am a 100% honest person, brutally honest actually, the reason why i appreciate yours. Most of the girls i know are exactly what you described, but this is what really hurts.. i was always honest about my feelings, I DID NOT EVEN HAVE ONE SECRET FROM HIM.. i dont' believe in lies, and would not tolerate staying in a relationship that's BASED on lies. ... The problem i think is that .. i hate games, i hate mind games, playing hard to get and so on and so on. I never see any reason to be part of them, but by refusing to do exactly that, i lose in the end. (Personally, i've gotta admit.. i've become bitter, next person i'm goin out with .. i'm gonna be a total badgirl, inconsiderate, demanding, golddigger... every quality that you guys seemto find most attractive.. lol AND I'M SERIOUS! ) I'm not playing the part of a victim that ohhh it was all his fault, and i was such a little angel. No, i wasn't. But i never hurted him, i argued, dava kardam.. but never said something to hurt him that deeply. Even to this day, i wish him all the success in the world...

Pourya jan, i understand exactly by what you mean about true love. And i believe that this was TRUE LOVE. Because from the beginning, .. i could name millions of reasons why i love this guy. But i also believe that love evolves.. just like how a married couple, they might lose their passion, but they become mroe comfortable with each other. Doesn't mean they're not in love. And my feelings grew from to more serious feelings.... maybe i should let things be

 

Dunno really :blink:

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Dunno really  :blink:

now that I've read all your arguements, I must admit that:

 

me NEITHER!! :blink:

 

;)

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Ava!

Here is where you're wrong:

You did not lose! you just won and you already got your prize for it. you're out of that asaab khord kon relationship( according to your own quote) and I believe you've been rewarded by temination of this relationship.

It seems to me that you're a naiive and honest person, and unfortunately so am I, ppl. like us usually end up with a broken heart and confusions, therefore I can totally feel you!

My relationship ended after 4 years of unconditional love, and she was the motive for that, in the first 4 months I thought I had lost everything, but now I look back and also find all these beautiful and honest girls around and realize how stupid and deluded I was!

Again, if he hasn't upset you with his regretful calls and desperate attempts in order to get back with u, then forget about him, and I give 50-50 possibility of him sleeping around with other girls(Considering my lack of aquaintance about him).

Trust me you will overcome him, and will be so thankful to first God then urself. that's my word. take it! ;)

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AvA: I think you two got had a good break up, that's all I have to say about that.

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I wouldn't say anything to him if I were you.

 

Guys stop doing the little things, stop acting as though they love you, stop being "nice" once the girl shows how much she cares and loves him. As soon as he knows he's got you he stops being who he was.

 

Move on, and trust me, one day will come when HE will come and beg YOU for forgiveness and to take him back.

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Guest Guest

hehe one of my friend say.

 

Love is our own false projection about the other person

 

orel

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Orel, that is so true....sometimes you feel like you are in love with this someone that you convince yourself that they are this and they are that and start loving them because of that...

 

but that is not to say that is your problem AvA...

 

I know other people will disagree with me but honey,

 

FOLLOW YOUR MIND

 

If you dislike him because he is selfish, then leave him....if you try to make it work again, he's just gonna be selfish with you, rite?

 

If you dislike him because you cannot understand him, the long distance, or have a few matters to work out, then give it a try to clear up the ambiguity...

 

good luck, I hope this helps...please write to tell us how everything is...

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Dear AvA,

I'm Not Good At Writing Long Stories In English, So I Try To Tell You My Opinion Shortly Upon My Experiences About Your Kind;

 

1st Possibility: You Stay With Him But Your Stress & Assab-khordi & etc Will Remain...

2nd Possibility: You Finish It Up But His Love And His Memory Does Remain And Comes To You Time To Time To Make You Cry...

3rd Possibility: A Miracle Happens (Or Some Related Miracles Happen) To Make Everything Suddenly Alright And Be Sure That Such Events Are Out Of Our Hands.

 

So Good Luck & Trust Yourself.

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thank you for all your advice..

 

i think i came to a conclusion.. so here it is.

 

I'm gonna let things be. I feel like i've lived for too many people for too long... bf, parents, friends... I've never taken care of myself.. and i'm gonna dedicate at least the next few years to putting myself on a right path. Hopefully i will meet a gorgeous stranger along the way ;)

and if someday i came across my ex, and thigns were different... and there was no physical distance, maybe i'll pursue it. But lots of things can happen till then. I dont' think i need the emotional stress of a relationship on top of everything else i have to deal with right now.. especially from someone who doesn't really support, just criticizes... so I'M GONNA LET THINGS BE.

 

I want to thank you all for your advice ... dametoon garm ..kheili khoobin

 

AvA :wub:

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I'm happy to see you've come to a desicion! :) One of the worst things is when you can't decide for something.

A very good desicion aswell ;)

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Guest Guest
I'm happy of the decision you made

GOOD FOR YOU GIRL! I'm PROUD of you! :)

hush hush ....

 

proud people scare me ;)

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Time heals wounds. Patience is a must. Easier said than done tho.

Ask for God's guidance, he'll be there for you.

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thank you for all your advice..

 

i think i came to a conclusion.. so here it is.

 

I'm gonna let things be. I feel like i've lived for too many people for too long... bf, parents, friends... I've never taken care of myself.. and i'm gonna dedicate at least the next few years to putting myself on a right path. Hopefully i will meet a gorgeous stranger along the way ;)

and if someday i came across my ex, and thigns were different... and there was no physical distance, maybe i'll pursue it. But lots of things can happen till then. I dont' think i need the emotional stress of a relationship on top of everything else i have to deal with right now.. especially from someone who doesn't really support, just criticizes... so I'M GONNA LET THINGS BE.

 

I want to thank you all for your advice ... dametoon garm ..kheili khoobin

 

AvA :wub:

Movafagh Bashi Ava Jan :)

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this is a really late reply..... i don;t know if Ava is going to read this or whether it even matters .....but i think if you just be his friend and keep the possibility of being together open but not in a clingy sorta psycho I love him kinda way everything will work out ....to be honest when i read your original post at times you sounded like one of those clingy jealous type girls who are to be honest a pain to be around but i'm sure you are a sweet girl who just cares and there is nothing wrong with that....if you truely love him and want to be with him then it shouldn't matter when you guys will get togeter....as long as you end up with him that should be all that matters....this way you have time to test yourself as well on how strong your love is.......so as long as you keep in touch and be a friend just because you want to be a friend then i promise you the love between you will become stronger.....he's talking to you still that's good that means he likes your company.....but just leave it like this untill you both can make wise decisions about what you want to do and where you want to go in life.

 

 

AND PLEASE DON'T ALTER YOUR LIFE FOR ANYONE IN ANYWAY EVER!

 

if it's meant to work out then it will regardless of the events in your life now

 

 

once again i don't know if you even gonna read this or whether this even matters now but i couldn't just leave it alone

 

Much Love

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Milad, that was well said. You're right ,we shouldn't change ourselves because

of things that happen to us, nor should we take revenge on the next person

that comes along.

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Even though this was for another person OMG U GUYS HAVE HELPED SO MUCH!!!! lolz i had a very similar problem and its really nice that u guys have so many great opinions.... :c :friends::friends:

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Dear Mi Amor,

 

I am thinking about you every second of every day and cannot wait until I see you again. We should never be apart this long again. I miss your kisses and your touch; I miss you so much. I hope that I can see you soon but until I do I will keep you in my dreams and in my heart, and remember that I love you and I always will. We are the lucky ones because we found each other again and we are able to love each other more than we ever have before. I'll be waiting to see you again. It's only been a little over a week but now I know that I cannot be away from you, from this love. I love you with all my heart.

 

Love always,

 

Tu Bonboncita

 

:c :c :c

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